What Is Parental Alienation? – And How To Spot The Signs
Parental alienation is a particular family dynamic that can emerge when parents separate, in which the child becomes hostile and rejects the other parent.
Jones Myers Partner, Kate Banerjee, who heads the family law firm’s Children’s Department, says parental alienation can occur when one parent or carer expresses freely and persistently unreasonable negative feelings or beliefs such as anger or fear towards the other parent.
Such toxic behaviour is often disruptive to the child’s actual experience with that parent and can cause widespread, long-lasting damage to relationships between children and parents.
Parental alienation is a contentious term, many in the legal world are reluctant to use the term parental alienation because of its contentious background. Whatever the view of this contentious pattern of behaviour, parental alienation by its ordinary meaning is often an accurate description of the action of a parent either consciously or unconsciously.
Our Children’s Department - which always puts children’s best interests first - has witnessed the detrimental effects of this damaging pattern of behaviour on children and parents who are at the receiving end.
Parental Alienation Day, which this year took place on April 25, has been raising global awareness of the issue which affects millions of parents and children worldwide and can lead to a gradual corrosion of relationships.
What are the signs of parental alienation?
When a parent forbids or tries to restrict their children from seeing the estranged parent
When a parent tries to convince their children that they would be better off not seeing the estranged parent
When a parent prevents their children from talking about their estranged parent
When a parent constantly criticises the estranged parent in front of their children
When a parent makes up and relays negative actions/stories about the estranged parent to their children
When a parent implies to their children that the estranged parent does not care for them
Time and opportunity are often lost and further damage can be done to a relationship between the parent and a child if action isn’t taken.
How parents can manage and try to avoid alienating behaviour
We urge parents everywhere to set aside their frustrations and resentment to always make their children’s wellbeing a priority – no matter how acrimonious their relationship breakdown has been.
They can do this in the following ways:
Think before you act about how your behaviour is affecting your children
Make your children’s present and future emotional and physical a priority at all times
Always remember that children of all ages, particularly teenagers, are vulnerable to emotional manipulation
Avoid criticising your ex-partner in front of them and tell them how much both parents love them
Never encourage your children to take your side against your ex-partner
Take an interest in what your children do with your ex-partner
Set up a parenting plan with your ex-partner to ensure effective communication and planning
If you, your ex-partner or your children are struggling with the separation, we advise seeking expert advice, in some cases fast action is necessary to avoid seriously harmful outcomes for children.
ABOUT KATE BANERJEE
A widely recognised leader in Children Law, Kate heads Jones Myers nationally and internationally renowned Children’s Department. She is highly experienced in cases which include contact and residence disputes and child protection law.
Kate also has extensive expertise in international child abduction cases and is a Member of the International Child Abduction and Custody Unit. She is also a Member of the Child Care Panel representing parents, guardians, Local Authorities, and children.
Jones Myers Harrogate office is located at 5 Victoria Avenue, HG1 1EQ, www.jonesmyers.co.uk For queries on all aspects of divorce and family law, call 01423 276104.
